Warhol’s secret exposed!
No, Andy wasn’t dating Divine. They were just good friends. Studio 54 buddies, that sort of thing.
No, the real secret was this special camera, by which Warhol was able to come up with all those great quarptyches, or whatever they’re called. Now you can own one too and come up with terrific “four-dimensional”, multi-hued pictures of your friends!
Silkscreening is a messy business. That’s why Andy invented this amazing Polaroid snapper with a special lens.*
Not making this up! (Well, okay, maybe the part about Osama.) This camera is now available in the Dali House art supplies shop, where the commitment to fine art is inescapable, as further evidenced by this faithful depiction of Andy’s lord and saviour, Jesus “The One They Call Christ” O’Nazareth.
Dan Brown and members of his heretical sect should take note, by the way, that this Jesus is as active as action figures get, yet he is still not married. He doesn’t even have any moveable parts, you know, down there. So shut up.
Full disclosure: The “Pop Cam” and Jesus, Moses, Sigmund Freud and many others are on sale at DollyMixtures.com, where the camera is actually advertised like this: “With some imagination and a little experimentation you might capture that perfect Pop Cam picture that will lead to your 15 minutes of fame.”
*Coloured plastic and glue not included.
